How many times has someone post-baby said “You look so good! You lost all the weight”? I call bullshit on this.

Why are we like this? Then subconsciously women think that they in fact look better once they’ve lost the baby weight. We all know that society portrays a certain image of beauty and we as women seem to welcome this with open arms. This has become more vivid in my mind thinking how awful it was sometimes as a girl in my teens because of body image issues.

Almost every woman I’ve ever met has struggled with body image. You think you’re fat. You tell your friends you’re fat. You tell the mirror you’re fat. At some point, we have all either been that person or friend of that person. We need to change this! I know this has been said a million times before but for real this has become downright ridiculousness. We are creating this talk. We are cultivating that you look better when you’ve lost the weight. This has become even more concerning to me now that I have a daughter. You may think they don’t fully understand or soak in things around them that much, but I wholeheartedly believe that your self-talk can create their self-talk. They listen carefully to you. They do not need to be hearing this. Point blank. Our incessant need to compare ourselves is awful. This is a serious issue and to have images of what we should look like is appalling. Everyone is different. We have created a system of comparison and shaming ourselves for our appearance so much without even realizing it. I truly do not want what is going on in this generation to get passed on to my daughter’s generation and it only seems to be getting worse.

Certain points in my life I’ve been thinner than others and always got complimented when I was thinnest when actually that was when I was most unhappy.¬†

It is a corruption of the mind. Let’s show the real and authentic side of beauty. Our flaws are us and that is what beauty is. Beauty is everywhere and its not in your appearance. It’s in your story, your scars, your battles, your triumphs. I am surrounded by badass, incredible women and my heart breaks a little every time I hear one of them put themselves down for something as simple as what they were born with. They put themselves down so much. They compare themselves so much. Especially to other women on Instagram and we all know its a highlight reel so why are we doing this? I urge women, everyone, to be aware of there own self-talk. To be aware of their thoughts. This is a time of woman empowerment. This is a time where woman are taking a stand. Yet so many of these women are still very mean to themselves about body image and looks. Life is full. Let yourself live fully for who you are. As I’m writing this I almost feel like a hypocrite because I too am of course very hard on myself. However, now I am aware of it and I catch myself and I work on it. For the sake of not only myself but most importantly my daughter, I have too. They are sponges and I know she sees the beauty in everything and she sees the beauty in me and I don’t want to make a “flaw” of mine known as ugly or tainted to her. I want her to look at the world through her eyes as she sees it now for as long as can be. I hope woman everywhere start embracing all the much more important things and stop the next time they shame themselves.

You are beautiful the way you are and there is no shame in your stretch marks, your thighs that touch, your freckles, your rolls when you sit down or your arms that jiggle. Let’s all laugh at the jokes and smile at the sky and remember to breathe in the fresh air and let go. These parts of you that some people have made you feel ashamed of are part of your magic.

 

Live lightly,

Jessica